Let’s say they’ve racked up a big, nasty credit card debt — to the tune of thousands of dollars. Should you pay off their debts to help keep their credit score above water? Or is it better to let them learn from their mistakes and suffer the consequences? Though each individual situation is different, here are your options, what’s at stake, and a few pointers to help you plot your course of action.
A Personal Loan, With a Contract
If you have the means, think about whether or not you want to loan your child the money. Sometimes the debt is manageable enough that you can pay it off in the form of a personal loan to your child. You can even decide to charge them interest as well, so they learn just how much a high APR can cost them.
But you have to examine the situation from a lender’s perspective, rather than simply write a check and expect your child will make payments. What is the child’s employment situation? Will he or she be able to make payments to you without the security blanket of your relationship making them complacent? Has your child typically been a responsible spender in the past, or does he or she impulsively purchase on a grand scale regularly? If you do decide to help protect their credit history, it’s a smart idea to sign a contract with your child to make your agreement more official and binding.
If You Co-Signed, You’re on the Hook
If you co-signed on your child’s account, you’re responsible for their debt. Because of regulations passed in the CARD Act of 2009, it’s more difficult for young adults to qualify for credit cards, so more and more parents are co-signing on accounts and acting as guarantors for their children. If you’ve already taken that step, you should hopefully have realized that your child’s purchases will affect your credit, regardless of your involvement.
In this case, it may be more prudent to pay off the debt if you can, cancel the account, and work together to come up with a payment plan to rectify the situation and make sure it never happens again. If you haven’t co-signed yet, sit down for a serious conversation with your child on your values and financial responsibility.
Lessons to Be Learned?
Bad credit now will impact their financial future later, but so will bad habits. If your child doesn’t learn from his or her mistakes now, there could be bigger and more damaging mistakes ahead. Will bailing your child out of their financial mess with creditors make them realize the gravity of their mistake? Or will you just end up fostering their sense of dependence on you? You won’t always be there, wallet in hand to save them, so if they can manage to take the credit hit, perhaps it’s best to let them learn the lesson this time, and give them some tough love.
Communication Is Key
Loaning money to someone you love is always, always messy. While your child should intellectually know that your love is unconditional (which is why your help comes so willingly), it’s emotionally very difficult to face your parents when you owe them money. Plenty of relationships have been ruined by debts of personal loans, both from neglected payments and feelings of shame. Be sure that if you choose to help your child, you commit to maintaining an open dialogue and doing your best to keep business and family separate.
Ultimately, each family and financial situation is different. But before you make a plan to tackle your son or daughter’s debt, you need to examine the situation from all angles. There are many factors in play, but above all, your relationship and your child’s sense of responsibility from this learning experience should be at the forefront of your mind.
Click here to view the article source, from DailyFinance.com.